


A Poodle's Christmas Carol

by OnlyOneWoman



Series: Black Sails Domestic Fluff [4]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Music, Churches & Cathedrals, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in Love, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gunnbones, Insufferable couples, Kissing, Love, M/M, No Angst, Pirate Husbands, Ridiculousness, Sappy, silverflint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 03:07:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9052744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyOneWoman/pseuds/OnlyOneWoman
Summary: I couldn't help myself. I needed Christmas stupidity presented by John Silver.Merry Christmas, fandom! <3





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thewalruscaptain (nightly_division)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightly_division/gifts).



”All hail to thee, O blessed morn, to tidings long by prophets borne. Hast thou fulfillment given; O sacred and immortal day, when unto earth, in glorious ray, descends the grace of heaven!”  
”What the everloving fuck…?”  
”Young and old their voices blending. Praise are sending, unto heaven, for the Saviour to us _gi-i-ven_!”  
”John…”  
”Like other men, he tears will shed, our sorrows share, and be our aid, through his eternal power. The love of God on us bestow, and mingle in our cup of woe, the drops of mercy’s shower.”  
”Darling…?”  
”Dearly buying through his passion, our salvation. And to mortals…”  
”John!”  
”… opening the heavenly _po-ortals_. Yes, honey?”  
”What on Earth are you doing?”  
”Singing.”  
”And _why_ is it that you’re singing christian hymns and not drinking songs?”  
”Because I’m sober and practising for the Christmas mass, of course.”  
” _Of course_. How stupid of me… _Of course_ my atheist husband is practising for Christmas mass, how could I forget… You’ve never been to a bloody Christmas mass in your whole life, John!”  
”So?”  
  
James had been through a lot with his silly husband. Dating, arguing, decorating two flats, planning a wedding without killing each other, moving across the country, having or not having kids (definately not) and fighting about which relatives were most awkward and if it was acceptable to bring a sex swing on a vaccation to James’ mother, since they would have a guesthouse to themselves. (No, John. Just _no_!) But religion had been easy, since non of them had any. And here, a week before Christmas, John was practising hymns in their bedroom. James just threw himself on the bed and groaned.  
  
”If I was religious, John, I’d ask the gods what I’ve done to deserve this…”  
”And if there were any gods, they would probably say: married John Silver.”  
”Why, John… Why the fuck are you doing this?”  
”You don’t like when I’m singing?”  
”Oh, no… Not that face! It’s not fair and I’m not falling for it!”  
  
But of course he did. Every time. John was too adorable and the smug little shit knew it. Bright, white smile, thick curls and blue eyes. James cursed inside.  
  
”Please, tell me you’re kidding…”  
”I’m going to mass this year and singing hymns, James.”  
”But _why_?”  
”I like the songs…”  
”But... sweetheart, you’re not religious and the last time you visited a church, you had to leave because you couldn’t stop laughing at the priest.”  
”He looked funny.”  
”It was a _funeral_.”  
”He was wearing a dress and he was bald and the candles were reflecting on his shiny little head. And your niece laughed too.”  
”Dylan was five!”  
”And already showing a good sense of humour, which I never thought I’d see in your family.”  
”We buried my oldest aunt that day.”  
”Which was about time, ’cause she looked dead the first time I saw her.”  
”Don’t you dare talk about aunt Eliza like that, you little shit!”  
”Oh, come on, you hated her and she was ninetyfour. You told me you were happy not having to call her anymore, since she always asked if you would stop sinning.”  
  
James opened his mouth to say something, but realised he’d already lost whatever it was and just sighed.  
  
”Nevermind her. Just tell me why you want to sing Christmas hymns in church.”  
”I told you. I like the songs.”  
”Didn’t you get enough of that as a kid?”  
”I never went to church.”  
”What? Never?”  
”Nope.”  
”But…”  
”My foster parents were Jehovah's Witnesses, James. I wasn’t even _allowed_ to visit churches. Or celebrate Christmas, for that matter. You know that.”  
”Yeah, but I thought you were singing hymns and shit?”  
”Not those hymns, silly. And I’ve always liked them so this year I’m going to mass. Are you coming with me?”  
  
_Because I’m a cute little cinnamon roll and you’re defensless against my puppy eyes._ Just because James knew his husband’s little tricks, it didn’t mean he was immune to them. And to be honest, John had a pretty good singing voice. James glared.  
  
”Yes, I’m coming with you. If you promise not to do something silly while we’re there.”  
”When did I ever do something silly?”  
  
James wisely decided he didn’t have time to count all the silly things he could remember John doing the last month, and just sighed. And his human, adorable poodle looked very pleased with himself.  
  
***  
  
”Tell me again why we’re doing this instead of fucking?”  
”Because John has never been singing Christmas hymns in a church before.”  
”Neither have I.”  
”You’re Scottish!”  
”So? It’s the Irish and their church stuff you’re thinking about. And I can’t sing if my life depended on it.”  
”Well, we’re still going.”  
”And you’re still gonna fuck me later, right?”  
”Christ, Ben! _Yes_ , I’m gonna fuck you later.”  
”That’s all I wanted to hear. Merry Christmas, babe.”  
  
Ben gave Billy a kiss and started the car. They’d spent Christmas Eve with Billy’s dad and would have Ben’s parents over on Boxing Day, so a little respite from family was welcome no matter how it looked. And having Christmas dinner with John and James, and sharing the cooking was a decision all four of them were very pleased with. Listening to some Christmas songs in church was definately worth it. A very dull James was waiting outside the church, but no John and his husband grunted at Billy and Ben.  
  
”Don’t ask. If I’m being put through this without warning, so are you.”  
  
Billy rose his eyebrows.  
  
”Where’s the song bird?”  
”If you’re referring to my sneaky poodle of a husband, you’ll soon see. Come on.”  
  
Quite puzzled, Billy and Ben simply followed their grumpy friend to a bench. It was already quite many people in the church, but no one they knew, thank God. They sat down and Billy, who sat between his husband and James, was just about to ask where John was, when the church bells started to ring and James nodded at the choir. And there, in a dark blue choir rob, stood John with his curls neatly pulled back in half a ponytail.  
  
”Jesus…”  
  
Billy gaped and Ben put his hand under his chin and pushed it up, whispering:  
  
”Close your mouth, darling, before someone puts an altar bread in there. James, when did this happen?”  
  
The poodle’s husband gave a grim smile.  
  
”This is John’s way of revenge, I believe.”  
”For what?”  
”For me learning how to knit in secret.”  
”He’s joining the church choir as a revenge? Well… that’s also a way of doing it, I guess. Impressive, right Billy?”  
  
Billy choked a laughter.  
  
”Very impressive. What a commitment. It sure makes our kind of vengeance look kinda’ bleak.”  
  
Ben smiled and James glared at the amused couple. Then the bells stopped ringing and the first hymn started. It was a known song, but only Billy made a small attempt to join in. Ben thought it would be best for everyone if he didn’t try and James looked like situation was a personal offense. Halfway through the mass, after an extremely boring sermon, the poodle left the choir and went to a microphone close to the piano and James almost cursed, but remembered in the last moment where he was. And then his husband started to sing _Lo, How a Rose E’er Blooming_.  
  
James had planned on ”putting out” with this bullshit, only to make his stupid husband happy and maybe also provide with a little moral support by not leaving him all alone there. Seeing John in a choir robe was surprising enough, but to hear him sing solo – and really well! – wasn’t something to put up with and when Ben discretely handed him a tissue, James realised he had tears in his eyes.  
  
The rest of the mass, James couldn’t take his eyes off John and certainly not concentrate on anything the priest said. He wasn’t even irritated anymore, he just starred with a very silly look in his face and Billy just shook his head and Ben patted James’ hand. The couple knew they’d never hear the end of James’ praise – poorly disguised in scowls, grunts and harshness, of course. Fact was, John had a very pleasant voice and by the judge of other peoples faces in the congregation, his husband and best friends weren’t the only ones who thought so. And didn’t John look quite cute in that stupid robe? A little angelic, almost, with that curly hair and big, blue eyes… To think that fragile creature had straddled James’ cock and rode it like a savage the other night… Good Lord, what was he thinking?! And in a bloody church!  
  
Thank heavens, the mass was almost over and the last hymn had started. When the postlude finished and people started to leave, James had the most stupid urge to go up to the choir podium and kiss his poodle, which of course Billy and Ben suspected and therefore made sure to push James before them as they left church to wait for the poodle outside. Ben threw a concearned look at the ginger and whispered to Billy:  
  
”Are you sure he’s fit to cook now?”  
”Far from sure. I think we might have to show him the way to his own kitchen.”  
”I’ll help him with the food, and you can keep John away.”  
”He’s not that bad with cooking.”  
”No, but we’ll have dinner at midnight if James is gonna drool over him like this.”  
  
Billy looked at James, who actually seemed a bit off. Billy turned to Ben and nodded.  
  
”How about driving? You think he’ll make a turn out on a field and tear their pants off?”  
”There’s definately a risk right now. Maybe we should split up? You drive John in our car and I go with James.”  
”Good idea.”  
  
When John came out, he wore his usual clothes and had an almost shy smile on his face. Ben immediately hugged him and gave him a kiss on cheek.  
  
”Darling, you were just _fabulous_!”  
  
Billy hugged him too.  
  
”I almost cried and I never cry to music. It was beautiful, John.”  
”Thank you.”  
  
The singing poodle beemed from the praise and even if James only gave him a short, firm hug, it was obvious that the grumpy ginger was very touched and probably didn’t want to show that openly. That was his way and they all knew it.  
  
”Well done, love. You do know how to keep a secret… Well, maybe we should leave?”  
  
The little group of friends quickly moved to the cars and Ben pulled John to the side and spoke in a low voice:  
  
”Don’t even think about it, John. You’re going with me and James with Billy.”  
”But…”  
”Nooo, John. Just no. We want dinner, not waiting for you two in a pile of snow somewhere.”  
”Hey, we have class! And a big car.”  
”That’s not helping. Lets go. _Now._ ”  
  
The couples split up and when Ben had started driving, John looked a little nervous.  
  
”Honestly, Ben, how was I?”  
”You were amazing, John. Both Billy and James cried.”  
”They did? _He_ did?!”  
”Oh yes. Sorry if I’m not as easily touched, hon. I was raised catholic and developed a certain immunity towards crying in church. But yeah, a certain ginger cried.”  
”Shit…”  
  
Ben snickered.  
  
”What? Are you surprised? He’s so soft for you I bet he’d be worse than Billy if he allowed himself to let loose.”  
”I wouldn’t mind him letting himself a bit loose every now and then, you know.”  
”But maybe not in church or while driving…”  
”Maybe not.”  
”You do beat us all, John. Why didn’t you tell him?”  
”Because he didn’t tell me about the knitting.”  
”Seriously? You joined a _choir_ because he didn’t tell you he was knitting?”  
”Well, not only beacuse of that. I lived in a Jehovah's Witnesses family for years and I really missed christmas and christmas songs those years. So I guess I’m making up for lost time.”  
”But why didn’t you tell James?”  
”Honestly? I didn’t want to hear him say I wouldn’t go through with it. So I didn’t tell him until… yesterday.”  
”Seriously?”  
”Yeah, but not the solo. He didn’t know about that until I… well, started singing.”  
  
Ben just shook his head.  
  
”You two are the silliest people I know, and I have a large partly drunken, partly insanely stupid family that makes me embarressed for being a Scotsman, and a very silly husband to compare with.”  
”I choose to take that as a compliment.”  
”Do so, love. Your singing was worth every minute of the sermon.”  
”What was it about?”  
”No idea. I learned how to sleep effectively during sermons as a four year old.”  
  
***  
  
When they came home, Ben and James went to the kitchen to prepare the dinner, while Billy made a fire in the fireplace and poured them all drinks. It was said John and James would leave the car over night and take a cab home, probably quite late, so they didn’t have to think about staying sober. Not that any of them were heavy drinkers, but still.  
  
John was sitting, snugly wrapped in a blanket by the fire, sipping on his drink and looked a bit tired. Billy pressed a kiss on his mop of curls.  
  
”He’s so proud he’s ready to burst.”  
”You think?”  
”I don’t think, John, I know.”  
  
His friend left the drawing room and a minute later, a certain ginger came out and sat down behind him, pulling him close in a hug.  
  
”Was this really a revenge for the knitting?”  
”Maybe a little, but mostly I just wanted to… you know, feel how it was.”  
”To sing in a choir?”  
”To sing christmas songs. You know I never did that.”  
”Well… you have now and it was beautiful.”  
”Really?”  
”I’d say we make this an annual thing. I had a very hard time not telling strangers ’that was _my_ husband singing’ when we left.”  
  
John smiled and nuzzled his husband’s neck. James stroke his curls.  
  
”Just one thing. When on Earth did you practise?”  
”Oh, that. You know the cooking class I said I went to?”  
”Yeah…?”  
”I may have lied a little about that…”  
”A little?”  
”Well… I did make coffee for the choir when it was my week. Does that counts?”  
”Absolutely.”  
”Merry Christmas then, grumpy ginger.”  
”Merry Christmas, silly poodle.”  
  
James kissed him greedily and when Billy peaked into the room, he quickly went back to the kitchen and catched his own husband, pressed him against the fridge and gave him a deep kiss before leaning to his ear.  
  
”The next time you say fabulous in public like that, I’m not sure I can keep from going all nancy on you, darling.”  
”Oh, don’t worry, babe. Next year I’ll just take you hard before we leave, to keep you calm while the poodle sings.”  
”God, I love you, Ben.”  
”And I you. Lets get that assholish turkey sliced up.”  
”Assholish?”  
”It judged me when I bought it. I could feel it.”  
  
Billy just groaned against Ben’s shoulder and his Scottish husband smirked.  
  
”Go grab the poodle and his ginger and sit down, babe. I’ll get the knifework done.”  
  
Ben smiled as Billy went to get their silly guests in order. When all the bullshit with relatives were done, Christmas could be bloody nice.  
  
**THE END**


End file.
